Swingers are people… obviously. Being people, that means Swingers are just as likely to exhibit behaviors that others find disconcerting. One of our biggest pet peeves are the notorious Lifestyle “Time Wasters”. If you’ve been on a Swinger site before you have probably read in at least one online profile “No Time Wasters” that is how much of a problem they can be.
What is a Time Waster? They are the type that send endless emails back & forth often very flattering or asking numerous questions. They will will often suggest getting together in a somewhat vague way but there will almost never be concrete plans. When there are plans, that’s when they show their true-colors. A true Time Waster that makes plans will almost always have “something come up” and they will have to cancel. That’s if you are lucky, the worst type won’t even cancel, they will just sort of go dark when it comes to communication and just not show up.
Even couples that have been Swinging as long as we have are not immune to Time Wasters. Case in point, a friend of ours said they wanted to have a house party to celebrate my Hubby’s birthday coming up. The last we had heard from them was 2 weeks ago she said she was off of work the next day and she was going to send out invites. This weekend we messaged her asking how the invites were going. Her response, they decided not to do the party because something came up. We kind of knew this was a possibility with them, the Wife of the couple tends to talk about big plans with us but in all the years we have known them she has yet to follow through. When we do get together with them it is because we made the plans or invited them over to our house.
When it was suggested it would have been nice if they had let us know they are cancelling the birthday party, her reply was, “we didn’t think you would notice.” 😮
Wow! They know we have a young child, they know we had to get a sitter for the night. Hell, their kid has sat for us before and yet that never even occurred to her.
So, we cancelled the sitter and messaged her, “We cancelled the sitter. Next time please let us know when you are cancelling.” Of course, we don’t plan on letting there be a next time with them. Lesson learned… again.