DC, there’s a new Swingers’ Club in town!

The Swinger community, no matter where you live, is well-known for being pretty tight-knit. Reputations can be made and ruined by good or bad word of mouth. That’s why it came as a surprise to us that there was a new Swingers’ Club that opened in our general area:  Shadows, in Hyattsville, MD.

Really, there is no shortage of Lifestyle clubs in our general area; TJs, DJs Island, The Cottage, The Korral, TABU, The Private Affair (TPA) are all within a couple hours drive of our home. Add to that The Crucible & Studio 58, two Swinger-friendly on-premise play clubs both looking for new locations, and we live in an area dotted with sex-positive, members-only venues where you can dance, have some BYOB cocktails and get your freak on with whomever & however many you want in an environment full of like-minded people. That’s why it was a sudden pleasant surprise that we first ran across Shadows on SwingTowns.

We noted that this Saturday, February 25, 2017, is their Masquerade party so we plan on checking them out.  We know what we really like about clubs; TPA, The Korral & The Badd Kitty Club in Fredonia, NY, all have a great vibe and have moved beyond the old days of the VFW-looking bar with Grandma’s spare room as the playrooms. But, we know nothing of Shadows however, we are walking in sight-unseen.  It is members only & BYOB as are other Swingers’ Clubs (that’s how they are all allowed to serve alcohol without liquor licenses. ) Other than that, we don’t know what the rest of the facilities are like, we assume there is a dance floor & bar for obvious reasons. But are there separate playrooms and, if so, how many? Unlike most clubs, they are open until 3am.

In a conversation with another friend, I mentioned that Shadows’ website says, Shadows is a very upscale lifestyle member’s only – private club with more 5,000 square feet of pure fun. Shadows is your ideal private club with everything you are looking for. Our recreational area has comfortable, plush, and comfy seating areas, a great dance floor with hip/fun vibrant DJ music, lockers to store your personal items and a friendly personnel to make your visit an unforgettable one. Last but not least, we have sufficient parking spaces available. We are open from Thursday thru Sunday, and we close at 3:00 AM on Fridays and Saturdays.”  Of course she correctly stated the obvious, “all the clubs say they are upscale”.  LOL

So, we shall see this Saturday I guess. Wish us naughty, decadent, hedonistic luck. If it goes well, we may share.

Product Review: Wildfire Lust Mood Mist

Wildfire Lust Mood Mist

Wildfire Lust Mood Mist

Anyone that knows Hubby for any length time comes to realize, he is very focused when it comes to scents.  When we go on playdates, he he will bring multiple Yankee Candles to the hotel to set the mood. Knowing that, we obtained a bottle of Wildfire Lust Mood Mist.

Following the instructions I sprayed the Mood Mist on the bed linens on a night when I planned on making it a romantic evening for just Hubby & me.  The first thing I noticed was Lust is a very earthy, sensual scent. It smells like “sex” without actually smelling like a room where people have been fucking already. Containing bergamot, ylang ylang & patchouli it is a very natural & pleasant scent.

Hubby immediately noticed it when he walked into our bedroom.  His comment was something like, “What is that? It smells really good.”

We had very vigorous sex on our Wildfire Lust Mood Mist infused bedspread & sheets that night. Clearly, for Hubby it had aphrodisiac qualities and the scent lasted quite long that evening as did Hubby.  LOL

The Wildfire site says the Mood Mists are very “rich & decadent” which is a very apt description. I would include that the Lust Mood Mist does fit it’s name quite well as it is a very lusty & earthy scent that does inspire passions. Only a few spritzes is enough to fill a room with the intoxicating scent & set the mood for sex.


No Expectations… (But, I want an Orgy)

A few years ago we were hosting a Meet & Greet at one of our favorite venues the night of my birthday. As a surprise, Hubby had gotten a cake, decorated our hotel suite & invited 15-20 of our closest friends back to our suite for *ahem* cake & cocktails.  What ensued was the best orgy sex I have ever had.  I fucked 4 men that night & had oral with a few others (guys & girls) as well.  BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

This Saturday we are back at that same venue hosting another Meet & Greet; actually we have been back there several times over the years.  Sometimes there has been “fun” back at the hotel, other times we didn’t click with anyone else or plans just didn’t gel &Hubby & I played alone, or sometimes Mother Nature interferes (periods can be inconvenient when you are a Swinger).  You just never really know.

Anyway, I am reminiscing about this today particularly because this Saturday may be the last time we can host a Meet & Greet at this club. To say we want to go out with a BANG! would be an understatement. But, we have been at this long enough to know that one of the cardinal rules is & will always be “NO EXPECTATIONS”.  Things rarely happen perfectly as you plan in the Swinger Lifestyle. I know I can sometimes be a little picky with potential play partners & since Hubby & I only play as a couple (we don’t play separate), that can limit our opportunities as well.

So, we can plan, we have bought snacks & enough alcohol & mixers for an after-party back at our suite. We can hope, we’ve informed a few of our friends we have gotten a hotel suite. We just can’t assume anything will actually happen. Because, you really, really just never know if anything will.

Liberator Heart Wedge®

Oh, but I did ask Hubby if I should bring the Liberator Wedge he got me for Valentine’s Day to the hotel, you know, just in case. He said, “YES!”

“EVERYDAY PEOPLE” — Common Misconceptions of Swingers

by Hubby 

Before Wifey and I ever started swinging we had our own ideas of what a stereotypical swinger was probably like. Boy, were we way off base.  Look up “Hedo Rick” on YouTube to get an idea of what we thought all Swingers were like.

Clearly there was a curiosity with both of us about the Lifestyle.  At Wifey’s workplace, there had been discussions about how swingers had moved into and were seemingly taken over a nearby, very upscale neighborhood.  Of course, Wifey wondered, “How did people know Swingers had moved in?”  Were the men mowing their lawns wearing only a Speedo? Were the neighborhood women doing their gardening in crotchless, boobless, hot pink bodystockings? Honestly, how do you tell a Swinger from a regular Vanilla person just shopping at the grocery store?

Short answer, you can’t.  Swingers are regular people in 99.99% of every facet of their lives accept for one small difference; we like to have casual recreational sex with people outside of our regular relationship. We don’t usually dress differently than regular people, we don’t have a secret handshake and (try as I might to get the idea across to people) we don’t wear badges.

Before we started in the Lifestyle, we had heard rumors about how you could recognize where swingers lived.  We spent a few weekends driving around neighborhoods while we were still house-hunting looking for white rocks in the yard. We also looked for garden gnomes after hearing that Swingers had those as well.  Try as we might, we didn’t see any overtly tell-tale signs of swingers anywhere.  White rocks & garden gnomes are urban legends.

Who are swingers? They have to be sexshop owners, porn stars, strippers… right? Wrong. We have met one stripper in the Lifestyle. Mostly, we have met nurses, hairdressers, firemen, computer techs, doctors, Cub Scout den mothers, business owners, construction workers, professors, psychiatrists, government workers, teachers and attorneys, and so on. You would probably never guess any of them were swingers if you met them in a Vanilla setting. Swingers also are Republicans, Democrats and non-political….many Swingers we have met are even quite religious.  That one threw us for a loop!

I am sure everyone has a visual image of me in their mind.  I’d like to think it’s reasonably flattering visualization, but I’m sure their idea of me is a little closer to Hedo Rick (haha!).   Really, I’m not quite that bad.  Wifey & I both have very professional jobs so we are very, very protective of our identities. I can actually get away with a little more than most people in the workplace because I have a job that is creatively oriented.  I have spiky hair & earrings but otherwise I am pretty harmless looking.

Another misconception we had was that swingers were probably all very predatory.  Once again, that type is few and far between.  Almost every single person in the Lifestyle that we have met has been very friendly, very respectful of boundaries and very polite. Most likely, a woman will be subject to more unwanted advances at a Vanilla bar than they are at a Swinger’s Club. The first time we went to our Swinger’s Club, one of our now very good friends approached us saying, “I’ve seen your profile on SLS.com.”  We thought he was being a bit of lecher by saying that.  Nope, he was doing his job, trying to make us feel welcome.

I’ll admit, when we do go to the club, there is no shortage of fishnet body-stockings, bustiers & corsets and short minis on the ladies.  But most of them only change into those outfits when they get to the club. Or, they leave the house wearing great big overcoats to disguise that Mommy is wearing a black spandex dress on date night with Daddy. The men usually don’t dress so sexually.  Most men just dress causally but tastefully.  Men at Swinger’s Clubs generally don’t wear anything that would get them a strange look anyplace else.

Wifey & I have tried to embrace some of the kitschy parts of the Lifestyle.  When we host (Host – invite others over to your home for sex) couples or singles at our house, we like to serve our guests fondue with drinks before we play.  It’s sort of our version of a Swinging Seventies theme.  One of the few Vanilla friends we have that knows what we do also gave us three large white rocks that we proudly display for all to see in the garden of our front yard. Wifey has even asked for a tasteful Garden Gnome for the garden.  That’s proving to be more difficult, tasteful & garden gnome tend to be contradictory terms in my mind. But I know I will relent eventually when she finds one she likes; that woman has incredibly pleasurable ways of convincing me to do things.  😉

So the next time you are at work, eating at a restaurant or you are out grocery shopping, look around at the people around you.  Look at the Mom & Dad shopping with 3 little boys, the guy in the power suit always talking about making the big deal, the innocent looking twenty-something checkout girl wearing the gold crucifix on a delicate chain….  Ask yourself, “could they be Swingers?”  Yes, they can.  Who knows? Last Saturday night, the Mom may have been having sex with her husband and two other men all at once in a hotel room, the guy in the power suit was getting spanked while watching his wife give blow-jobs on the dance floor at a Swingers Club and the check-out girl with the crucifix, well, she was eating out a 4th grade teacher who was sucking check-out girl’s boyfriend’s cock while the teacher’s husband was doing her from behind.

This is what the real Swinger Lifestyle is, not some caricature in a sitcom.  We swingers are regular every day people just like you. We just get laid more.

Now, if I could just get this idea of mine about swinger badges to get some traction, conversations Wifey & I have about how we would love to tag team that hot girl with the great melons looking at the cantaloupes would be much easier if we knew that she was a Swinger too.


“We took the waitress home and fucked her.”

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Swingers vs. Vanillas

Swinger Comedy?

A few weeks ago a friend of ours won 20 tickets to a comedy club to see a show.  A few of us ended up going to see 4 comedians with 3 being local stand-ups & one being “a national headliner and former finalist on Last Comic Standing.” We had great expectations.  The locals were hilarious, the headliner was a snooze.

Anyway, my limited understanding is most comedy is funny because people can relate personally to the situations in the jokes. However… Swinger comedy, MOST people will not relate personally to Swinging but we all got to talking about how some of the situational experiences of Swingers can be quite funny even to the non-Swingers.

Here are some examples of what I thought would be hilarious even if most people could not directly relate to them:

  • Ladies, ever been finger-banged by another chick with really long nails? Your ass-cheeks learn to walk backwards on their own.
  • That moment when in an orgy the guy you are fucking starts negotiating where he wants to cum on you. “Can I cum on your face?”
    “How about on your tits?”
    “Tits are good, but if I see you aiming anywhere higher nothing will be coming out of your balls for weeks.”
  • You have to pull a heavy, girthy cock out of your mouth to ask, “What is your name again?”
  • You say to one guy, “Wrong hole! Wrong hole!” Then to the less-endowed of the two guys, “Ok, now that he’s in YOU can put YOURS in my ass.”

I don’t know.  Maybe my act needs some work.

Baby’s first orgy

Well friends. This was a night to remember. I picked up Kal (Dom I hooked up with last week) and we went to a man’s house downtown.  

My first impression of him was that he was friendly and welcoming.  We went to his basement “dungeon” which was an unfinished cement basement with a mattress in the corner.  He had a round table set up and some chairs. It was a man cave in every way. It looked a little sketchy, but I quickly forgot about my surroundings when the other two girls got there. 

They were both also BBW and very pretty. I didn’t have a lot of experience with girls but I was excited to learn! 

We sat around and talked and discussed limits. The other girls were a little shy so Kal and I went over to the mattress to get things started.  

While Kal and I were kissing and undressing the third guy showed up.  The rest of the group  gathered around.  I asked if anybody wanted to whip me.  I love being spanked and whipped. One of the girls volunteered and I happily bent over.  Kal throat fucked me while the rest took turns whipping and spanking me. 

After Kal whipped me he started fucking me from behind.  I know I said it in my last post about him but holy shit his cock is huge.  After a bit one of the other guys fucked me in the ass while I made out with the girl who had whipped me. There was so much going on but I’ll get to the highlights.  […]

via Baby’s first orgy  — Master’s New Whore